October 27th, 2001



I tend to write a lot, but hardly ever anything that is considered poetry. Just once in a while, something flashes through my head and I can't make a story out of it, I decide to write a poem. Nothing serious, just for fun, never does it take me a lot of time. I can't take myself as serious as some poets who manage to put all the trouble in the world in an endless series of metaphors. Nothing against that, by the way, it's just not me.

Last year, I was surfing the web and bumped into a poetry competition. Coincidentally I had written some stuff the day before and on the spot I translated it into English and entered. To my big surprise a couple of months later I got a phone call from my mom (I was in Oz at the time), that I had won something, they were going to publish my poem in a collection and as a semi-finalist I was in the running for a ten thousand dollar prize.

I got the mail in Australia, but decided that it wasn't worth continuing. I am not paying fifty bucks for a coffee table edition when my crap poem is good enough to be in there. If I wanted an artist's profile in the book, it would cost me 25 extra. So, even though, and I quote, I had 'unique talent and artistic vision' I would still be nearly a hundred dollars lighter for a book that would appear one year later. No thanx.

My suspicion was confirmed when only a week later my second poem was selected as well! I never bothered to do something anymore, but I saw these papers lying somewhere the other day. Still think it's a hoax, a reader's digest of poetry. Anybody heard of poetry.com or the book "Nature's echoes"? If someone happens to bump into it, see if you can find my poems, I'd be surprised if they are really in it.

Just to confirm that I am not a poet, I'll let you judge the two semi-finalist poems I wrote. One more quote: "Gerben, you should be genuinely proud of your accomplishment. Of the thousands of poems we read each year, only a fraction can be published."


in the middle of the night
on the edge of a street
feeling the wind
past your corn
gives you the chills
for just one second
the moment you see the damp
and feel the relief
no more tension on your bladder
this is happiness

(I'm not 100% sure, but I feel the original, which I haven't got anymore, had the word dick head in it, they must have edited as well)


how is it
that a single ant
walks like
he's drunk
why doesn't it walk straight
is it drunk?
or is it
ant logic
too complicated for me
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Survey number 9 (or something like that)

[01] What's your first name?: Gerben
[02] What's your online alias?: Gerbie, gerbie7
[03] What's your favorite name?: mine
[04] Nicknames?: kappie, gepje, gerbie
[05] Age?: just managed to squeeze in a few days of the sixties
[06] Sex?: not often enough lately
[07] Birthday?: boxing day
[08] Your sign?: figure that out yourself
[09] Where do you live?: wherever I lay my head
[10] Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: nope
[11] Have you ever been in love?: yes
[12] Who are/were your crushes?: shan't bother you with the list
[13] Do you have any piercings or want any?: twice no
[14] Do you have a tattoo or want one?: see previous answer
[15] If so what kind and where?: not applicable
[16] Where do you shop at the most?: dunno
[17] What color is your hair?: dark blond I guess is what it's called
[18] What color are your eyes?: blue
[19] How tall are you?: 182 cm
[20] Do you smoke?: nope
[21] Do your friends smoke?: some do, some don't
[22] Who are your closest friends?: they know (I hope)
[23] Who are your friends?: anybody who bothers to inform how I'm doing once in a while
[24] Is your hair short or long?: short
[26] What sports do you play?: football (soccer), skiing (whenever I can afford)
[27] What turns you on?: intelligence, self knowledge, confidence, strong will, nice bum
[28] What turns you off?: ignorance, ugliness (inside variety), intolerance
[29] What do you do for fun?: football, writing, more writing, too much email, travel, read, watch british comedies, read papers, watch news, endless discussions on LJ
[30] How many phones do you have in your house?: 1
[31] How many TVs do you have in your house?: 2
[32] What's your favorite foods?: chicken, italian cuisine, chinese
[33] Do you look like anyone famous?: i doubt it, though I've been told I look like some character from a soap that I can't remember. Basically that's a no then.
[34] Who are the most attractive people you know?: See number 27
[35] Are you a virgin?: I was one at some point
[36] Do you wish to be like your parents?: In most respects no. In some yes.
[37] What cologne should a hot guy wear?: should I wear cologne?
[38] What are you listening to right now?: Jammah Tammah, Ska from Groningen
[39] What time is it?: it says 13.46 at the bottom of my screen, 6 minutes slow, so nearly two in the afternoon
[40] How many hours per day do you spend talking on the phone?: on average: 0.02 hour
[41] Have you ever kissed someone of the opposite sex?: a few
[42] What are your favorite shoes?: the ones I wear
[43] What kind of clothes do you sleep in, if any?: if any, then as little as possible, as normally I don't
[44] What's your favorite soda?: sprite
[45] What things do you say a lot?: -
[46] Who is the coolest person in the world?: an eskimo?
[47] Do you think you're weird or funny?: yes, bit of both
[48] Who was the last person you called?: metro post
[49] Where do you wanna get married?: I don't know if I ever will
[50] Who is the hottest girl/guy in your school?: as a teacher I'm not supposed to see things like that
[51] What are your favorite girl names?: the ones that fit the person
[52] What are your favorite guy names?: as 51
[53] What's your worst memory in the past 5 years?: -
[54] What's your favorite childhood memory: being praised for my dry sense of humour at primary school 'graduation', up until then the only praise had come because of results
[55] What is your favorite fast food restaurant?: the one that is really fast
[56] Who do you really hate? Racism, ignorance, intolerance, war, violence
[57] Do you have any brothers and sisters?: a little sister
[58] Do you have a pool?: no
[59] Are you stupid?: to get to question 59 you have to be
[60] What are you addicted to?: E-mail, reading, news, late nights, tetris, the last word
[61] Do you like jewelry?: not at all
[62] Who do you wish you were?: me
[63] Who has it easier, boys or girls?: easier than what?
[64] Would you rather be short or tall?: I'm happy as I am
[65] Do you like playing pranks on people?: I'm afraid so
[66] What's your least favorite subject in school?: biology(if the 's means was), fractions (if the 's means is)
[67] What time is it?: 8 minutes since the last time you asked
[68] What college do you wanna go to?: when I retire I'll start college again I guess. Plenty of time to consider therefore.
[69] Do you have a Playstation or Nintendo 64?: no
[70] If so, what are your favorite Playstation or Nintendo 64 games?: n/a
[71] Do you sleep a lot?: I would love to, but hardly ever manage
[72] Are you a night person?: my picture is in the dictionary
[73] Are you a morning person?: superfluous question
[74] What’s your favorite TV station?: BBC 2
[75] Do you get along with your parents?: certainly
[76] What room do you spend the most time in?: bedroom
[77] How many rooms does your house have?: some
[78] What do you wanna be when your out of school?: free
[79] Do you curse a lot?: depends how you define a lot, but I curse in more languages than I can speak
[80] Are you ticklish?: I can be (at certain hard to find spots)
[81] What are you wearing right now?: jeans, white t-shirt, red sweater, shoes, no socks, white underpants. Who cares anyway?
[82] Do you go to church?: only when somebody gets married or at funerals.
[83] Do you like the person who sent you this?: off course
[84] Do you believe in God?: who Me?
[85] Do you believe in love at first sight?: I go through phases
[86] What color tooth brush do you use?: I'm not sure
[87] How many times a day do you brush your teeth?: once or twice
[88] Who is your favorite anime character?: dunno
[89] Do you have a job?: does take too much of my spare time
[90] What's your favorite fruit?: nectarines
[91] What's your favorite veggie?: red cabbage?
[92] What's your favorite candy?: chocolate varieties (white!)
[93] What was the best day of your life so far?: depends when you ask, a few do spring to mind
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