The day of the World Cup final the BBC had a re-run of the unforgettable 'Escape to Vistory'. You know the movie in which Michael Kaine does an impression of a football player, Pele an impression of an actor and Sylvester Stallone fails on both parts. Even though I did watch (again) 'til the complete end, it still remains a mystery what happens to the football team after they manage to escape from the Parc des Princes. Where did they go? Who helped them? How did they manage to leave occupied France? Based on the only information I have got on the French resistance; the series 'Allo allo' it probaly went something like this:
Michelle, head of the resistance, enters the cafe where René, behind the bar was just embracing one of the waitresses.
M: René, you must help me.
R: Not again, those 2 English pilots have only just left yesterday and mother still can't sleep because
she is so nervous.
M: You must help us, without us the 12 football players, who beat the Nazi’s last week in Paris will
R: 12 football players! You must be mad, we can never lodge them. The Germans will found immediately.
M: If you do not help us the Germans might find out somehow, what has happened to the fallen Madonna
with the big boobies...
René obviously acknowledges the strength of this argument and decides he has no other choice but to help them. Pele, for being Brazilian (also a Latin-origin language), knows 2 words of French therefore has to help out in the bar. The Germans will not realise he is not French. He will become the main attraction of this week's entertainment programme.
The next day the policeman enters the bar, looks around suspiciously and realises there's no Germans around.
P: I was just pissing by. Ze Germans have found out ze bootfall players are near. Zey will come to the
café tonight to zee if zey are biding in zis mouse.
R: No need to panic. We only have to make sure we act as normal as possible.
Micheal Kaine, who happens to be standing at the bar overhearing the conversation looks puzzled.
MK: How do we act normal? We are actors, we can't just be normal. We don't even know how that goes.
Sylvester Stallone is just entering through the back door and picks up the end of the discussion has an opinion as well.
SS: Why can't we just take a bazooka and blast our way out of this stupid country?
Bobby Moore, who entered the bar with Stallone is the first one to react.
BM: Because we're not in Vietnam and actually I don't think the bazooka has been invented yet.
Michelle interrupts the argument when she storms into the café.
M: The Germans are coming, hide the football players.
All football players, who have just been practicing in the back garden run up the stairs and hide in, under, next and near Grandma's bed. Only Pele is entitled to stay downstairs where he starts a quest for the Guinness book of records, by juggling the ball a few thousand times on his heel, a variation on 'keepie-uppie' we never managed more than twice on the schoolyard when we were young. Monsieur Leclerc on the piano is playing some background music.
The Germans enter and immediately go to the bar where the interrogation of René starts, it is Herr Gruber who is the first one to fire away.
G: René, there are rumours that you are hiding the allied football team that escaped last week from
Paris, after they drew with the invincible team of the German Wehrmacht.
R: Would I do such a thing?
Just a thought as I said.